A No Foam Romance
by LesbianCalamity
Summary: Emma works at a local coffee shop. Regina is a regular who orders one of the most annoying drinks to make. Funny though how Emma doesn't seem to mind. (Written for SQW: Day 2 - Coffee Shop AU)


**Chapter Rating:** T/PG-13  
 **Warnings:** Mild language, Dork!Emma like whoa  
 **Summary:** Emma works at a local coffee shop. Regina is a regular who orders one of the most annoying drinks to make. Funny though how Emma doesn't seem to mind.  
 **Notes:** I used to work as a barista and my one of my best friends works at Starbucks. So if you happen to be one of the people that orders Regina's drink of choice featured in this fict, please understand it's not to be taken personally, just making No Foam anything sucks.  
 **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters, or whatever the hell else. They belong to Disney, ABC etc, etc, I claim no rights to copyrighted material, and this story is purely for entertainment purposes.

* * *

Lily grumbled as she got the order. "Urgh, I fucking hate this lady. Fucking no foam soy chai latte having ass bitch."

Emma shook her head. "Don't you think that's a little extreme?"

"Emma, you just went on a fifteen minute long tirade about this exact thing, not even an hour ago. I was standing right next to you. Hear the whole."

With a frown she defended herself. "Yeah, but I wasn't over the top about it."

Lily gave her a look. "You said if another goddamn person orders a goddamn no foam soy latte that you would destroy their happiness."

Feigning ignorance Emma retorted. "That doesn't sound like me, Lily."

"Oh my fucking god. You fucking like this fucking lady."

She scoffed at Lily's assertion. "What? No, I don't. Look if you don't want to make it, I'll make."

"You are un-fucking-believable, Emma."

Maybe she was unbelievable but this lady was crazy stupid beautiful. And Emma was willing to make the drink only consumed by the world's worst people if it meant having a less than ten second interaction with this woman. Because if a patron orders a no foam anything, they're an asshole. However, if a patron orders a no foam soy chai latte, they are the devil incarnate. Why? Because when you steam soy milk, it foams. There was absolutely no way around this. The same with chai. There was just no way a barista can make a no foam soy chai. It didn't matter how long they've been doing it, no one can do this without giving the patron a soy chai that didn't taste like any of the other soy chais they made that day. To truly produce it was a self involved process that normally Emma loathed to undertake.

But this lady was different. It wasn't something Emma could articulate or quantify. It was just a vibe she got from her. A vibe that had very little to do with this woman's looks (which Emma could wax poetic about all day) and very much to do with her aura, for lack of a better term.

It didn't hurt that this woman came in on the weekends at the same time looking like Tina Fey if she was secretly an international spy, to either grade papers or look over the dossier of her next target.

Emma hadn't decided on her backstory yet.

"Regina," she called, placing a paper cup on the bar. "Your no foam soy chai latte is ready."

She heard her heels before the woman came into view, warm brown eyes shining behind her glasses as she smiled.

"Thank you, dear."

Emma nodded, and smirked, willing her cheeks not to flush. "It was my pleasure."

Regina took a sip of her latte and hummed in approval. "Hmm… I think the pleasure is all mine."

And that was it. Nothing more than that. But it was enough for Lily to run with it.

"So, I'm thinking a fall wedding," Emma's best friend slid in beside her. "White and like gold for the colors… Hey, what food do you serve at a lesbian wedding? I was thinking finger foods? You know anything you can eat with your hands. Put your face just — boom! Right in there."

Emma scowled at her. "You? I hate you. I hate your face."

* * *

"Hey, it's your favorite order," Lily said, putting the paper cup in front of Emma with a giant grin, her eyes sparkling with a silent joke,

Emma looked down at the cup. It read "Supervillain drink" and under the name it said, "Super Bitch."

"You know I won't hand this out, right?" Emma replied with a frown.

"You will if you want me to respect you," Lily countered.

"I thought you didn't respect me anymore after the incident that must not be named."

"Oh, you mean when you made out with that dude at the party and then threw up in his lap."

Emma groaned. "Yup, that would be the incident. The incident that must not be named, Lily. Thanks."

"You're welcome, Em'."

She watched her best friend return to her duties leaving her to make the aforementioned supervillain drink with a shake of her head. And to start, Emma tossed the cup Lily gave her and wrote on a new one.

 _Regina._ With a little heart over the I. Not that that Regina struck her as the whimsical heart over the I kind of person. But Emma was… Okay she wasn't. Her mother was. And — oh god why did she put a heart over the I? Regina was going to think she was an idiot.

Great.  
Awesome.  
Fantastic.

"She seems lovely."

"Oh she's a frakking ray of sunshine." The words left her mouth before she realized that it was Regina standing next to the bar, a soft smile playing on her features. But Emma looked like she was going to be sick, her face paled, and her eyes widened in shock. "I mean… she's… Lily's great."

Regina smirked, knowingly. "Best friend?"

Emma cleared her throat and got to work on the drink. "Our parents grew up together. Then so did we. We make more sense than her mom and my dad and she's like a sister to me. An annoying, slightly older sister that is, at times, the bane of my existence."

"She sounds like my sister," Regina revealed.

"You have a sister?" she asked.

"Half," the other woman corrected. "I love her to death. That being said, I'm thrilled we only meet up during the holidays."

"Siblings, amirite?"

"You have any?"

"A bratty little brother."

Regina chuckled and it was such a rich sound. "Siblings are the worst."

Emma smiled as she took great finishing of the chai latte and placed on the bar. "The absolute worst."

"Thank you," the other woman supplied and then took a sip. Again she hummed in approval. "Perfection, as always."

Emma watched her go and sit down in her usual spot. A corner table by the window where she could spread out and do her work. She watched her brow furrow in concentration, scrutinizing each paper before her. Every once and awhile Regina would reached for her cup and take a drink, before setting it back down.

Regina didn't seem to notice what Emma had wrote until later. At first she dismissed it but then after a double take she frowned as she studied it. Emma thought she had crossed a line. However the frown faded away and Regina's lips curled in a soft, warm smile that Emma couldn't help but grin in response to.

"Puss…" Lily whispered in her ear, startling Emma.

"By the Maker, Lily! I am going to slap your face off of your face."

* * *

Beyonce was playing over the speakers. Normally, the owner didn't like that kind of music playing in the shop. But she was out of town on a vacation so her granddaughter was looking over the cafe. She's the one that had actually insisted they change it. To something with a little bounce in it.

"Beyonce," Lily said immediately and rushed to the back to hook up her phone to the sound system.

The rest of their shift was scored with the songs of Queen Bey as they danced and worked and laughed. Just to do it all over again.

They answered the age old question of who runs this mutha?

"GIRLS!" Lily and Beyonce proclaimed, proudly.

They schooled life.

 _"I'm not a teacher, baby, but I can teach you somethin'. Not a preacher, but we can pray if you wanna. Ain't a doctor, but I can make you feel better. But I'm great at writing physical love letters. I'm a freak; all day, all night. Hot, top, flight. Oo! Boy, out of sight And I'm crazy; all day, all night. Who needs a degree when you're schoolin' life?"_

Lily tried to keep the songs uptempo and upbeat. But she had hit shuffle so a slow jam wormed it's way into the Queen Bey mix.

 _"I found the truth beneath your lies… And true love never has to hide…"_

"Urgh," Lily groaned. "I'm changing it to Formation."

"No," Emma stopped her. "I like this one."

Her best friend rolled her eyes. "Of course you do. You're just as sappy as your folks."

"Hey!" Emma glared at her. "You take that back."

Lily just smirked. "No, because you're about to get all gooey in about five seconds."

"Why? What's happening in five seconds?"

The door chimed as it opened at and in walked Regina. And as Emma melted a little, she realized the answer to Lily's question.

"Hi, Regina," Emma greeted. "Your usual?"

"Am I that predictable?" the dark haired woman asked.

The fair haired barista shook her head. "Or maybe we're becoming fast friends."

Regina cocked an eyebrow at that. "Perhaps. And to answer your question; my usual would be lovely, dear, thank you."

"Happy to serve," Emma replied with a mock salute, and got to work making her chai latte to Regina's specifications. Once she was done, Emma as always, called out Regina's name and put it on the bar.

"That was quick," Regina commented.

"I'm quickly becoming an expert in all things Regina," Emma quipped.

"Really?"

Her face reddened at Regina's gentle teasing. "Well… With your drink at least."

"And the meaning of my name as well," Regina pointed out, holding up her cup which had "Your Majesty" written on the side.

Emma chuckled, a sheepish grin on her face. "A semester of Intro to Latin; some things just stick with you, I guess."

At that the other woman smiled. "But now you have me at a double disadvantage. I don't even know your name, let alone it's meaning."

"Um… Emma…" the barista cleared her throat. "My name is Emma. It's Germanic. It means whole or universal. Comes from the root word ermen which means strong… Sorry, I'm a font of useless information."

That made Regina smile. "I wouldn't say the information you gave me was useless. After all, I know your name now, Em-ma."

Her cheeks flushed when Regina said her name. She made Emma's name sound pleasing to her ear. A feat she never thought possible. And yet the beautiful rich timber of Regina's voice made Emma hear it differently. It sounded melodic. And not so old womany.

"Well, use your newfound knowledge for good," Emma joked.

Regina's lips curled in a playful grin. "Oh, Emma, where's the fun in that?"

It must have been a rhetorical question because she walked away after that leaving Emma gobstruck, and flushed.

 _She's a queen…_ Emma thought. _And I'm in trouble._

"Ground Control to Major Swan."

She blinked when Lily waved her hand in her face.

"Go take a ten," her best friend said. "You look like you're about to have a heart attack."

"Fine," Emma grumbled as she began to stomp off.

"Oh, Em'," Lily called after her. "There's only one Queen. And that is Beyonce. Yes, you did say that out loud. But not very. So I think you're good "

Emma's eyes narrowed. "I hate you."

Lily called after her as she went out the back. "Love you, too."

"You know you don't have to be here, right?" Lily asked, placing Emma's Flat White on the bar. "It's your day off. Be some place that's not here."

"But I like it here," Emma confessed. "I can draw in peace, annoy you, and this is where the coffee and the bear claws live. Why would I ever leave?"

"I hate you, Emma."

"I love you, Lily-Pad."

* * *

She sat down in the same spot Regina usually did on the weekends. But it was Wednesday and therefore Emma was safe from making a complete fool of herself for that woman. Which she didn't mind if she was honest, but if she was going to finish this commission before she died, Emma needed to get working, so no distractions. So she put some headphones on, opened up her music player on her phone, and got to work. After a few tentative strokes of her pencil, the image began to flow into like it had risen from her imagination fully realized. Time faded away, her coffee grew cold and undrinkable, and Emma got lost in her own creative process.

"You're in my chair, Em-ma."

Emma didn't notice Regina until she was almost on top of her, her chai latte already in her hand as she looked down at Emma. The blonde barista eeped and the other woman chuckled.

"I could move," Emma offered.

"That won't be necessary," Regina said, as she sat gracefully down across from her. "We can share."

Emma nodded. "Sure."

Regina studied her for a moment before she smiled. "You seem nervous."

Again she nodded. "Well, that's because I am."

"Why?"

"Because of reasons."

"Which are…?"

Emma gulped. "Aside from rampant social anxiety? A beautiful and insanely intelligent woman is talking to me." Her eyes widened. She hadn't meant to say that. "I'm sorry. That was… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

Regina frowned at her words. "Why? Were you lying?"

"Um… well no. You are beautiful, that's just a fact, and I've seen some of the books you've brought in here sometimes. The Republic. War and Peace. Kite Runner. Not the book choices of a dummy."

The other woman smiled when Emma explained herself and she replied. "May I please borrow your phone Emma?"

The barista's brow crinkled in confusion before she handed it to Regina with a, "Sure."

She watched the other woman make a phone call. For thirty seconds no one said a word. And Emma was so perplexed. Had she lost Regina's interest when she got a little forward? Did Regina not find her attractive? Had Emma misread something? Had she in fact crossed a line? None of these questions were answered when Regina gave Emma back her phone without contacting whoever she was trying to get ahold of.

"Thank you, dear," Regina said, rising to her feet. "I have to get going. I could only stop by for a moment. I'll see you this weekend hopefully. No one makes my drink quite like you."

"I'll be here," Emma confirmed with a warm smile.

And then Regina left and Emma looked at Lily like a woman drowning. But her best friend was just as baffled.

"What the shit was that?"

Emma shrugged. "I don't know."

Then her phone started to ring and Emma scrambled to look at the Caller ID. It was an unknown contact but not a blocked number. Her frown deepened but she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Emma…"

Her eyes widened in surprise, "Regina? Uh… Hi."

"Sorry, I had to cut our coffee date short, I was only on a quick break from work," the other woman explained. "But I would like to make it up to you. Perhaps take you out for dinner and drinks Friday, if you're amenable to that."

 _Yes. Okay, but it works better if you say the word out loud._

"Emma?"

"Yes!" She cleared her throat and tried again. "I mean, yes. I would love to go out… with you… on a date."

"Wonderful," Regina replied. "Text me your address. And I'll pick you up at 8 on Friday."

Suddenly Emma felt like she had just swallowed a bucket of sand. "Awesome. See you then."

"Enjoy the rest of your day, Emma."

"Yeah, you too, Regina."

And then they ended the called and Emma glanced at Lily who only shrugged.

"Oh, I don't get it either. The only conceivable reason that played out the way it did is because it's you and this kind of shit always happens to you. But don't ask me how. Cause it defies the laws of physics."

"I hate you."

"I love you too. Now text the Evil Queen your address, bitch," Lily ordered.

"Evil Queen?"

"If you order a no foam soy chai latte, then you are evil. The end."

* * *

 **If I continue this Fic Notes:** I have a few ideas of how this can go. Namely that this is a coffee shop in a small college town, and everyone knows everyone. Which will be fun when Emma and for that matter Lily finds out that there was so past DragonQueen that went on back in the day. So let me know how you think it should go with a review. Slow Burn or not? Fluff or Angst or Flangst? Happy ending or a sad one?

And as always you can follow me on Tumblr where I am MurderouslyAdorkable. Thank for reading :D


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